That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Randomize
