Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
you made out with another girl for some wings
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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