just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
