I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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