i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
