This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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