WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize