It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize