i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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