Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize