I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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