She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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