If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
