I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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