her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
How naked do you want me to be?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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