you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
