I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
