how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
