Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize