Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
