so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
