Are we in a gay sports bar?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
