I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How does it feel to date your dad?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
