Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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