YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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