It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
