I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
