When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
