Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
