someone get that fucking seahorse.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
