Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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