I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
How external is "for external use only"?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize