Your tits are I can't wait for
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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