wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
