she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
