Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i already hear my dad disowning me
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize