Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
