I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
