Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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