can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
My bed smells like the plague
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
