At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize