I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
True strength comes from lack of pants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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