Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
