I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We have started to decorate penises.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize