We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
