She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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