i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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