Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
