Cold hands, warm shart.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize