This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
