Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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