So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i think my cat just said my name.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Randomize
