why didn't you poke me back
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
