come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
