All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
