I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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