Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
