I love black thongs
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
