I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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