don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
