Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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