Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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