Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
