I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
