Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
