Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
