Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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