I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
