If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
