You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize