Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize