So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
