left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dicks are not precious.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
