No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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